Drenched in God's LOVE

Only through Jesus we can feel LOVED, accepted and good enough. There is nothing and nobody who can replace the LOVE that comes from God through Christ. Once we accept who we are in Christ and what was done on the Cross, we can live our lives in freedom from what is expected of us from others. We can finally live in the fullness of God because His LOVE is enough for us.We can come to God through believing in Jesus. 

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
"No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. John 6:44

 

Background

I grew up in a home with a religious father. He was very strict with making us “follow” the Bible literally and his entire upbringing strategies were based on rules and laws. He worked hard and provided physical resources but I never felt loved. He never told me that he loved me and never gave compliments my way. Sadly, it was the oposite.  He was verbally abusive and controlling. I think that his reasoning was that it would be ungodly to honor your children, so that they don't become proud and selfish. Unfortunately, the past caused me to feel unloved and never good enough. I struggled with insecurities and lacked confidence. I know that this messed up my relationship with God. I compared my relationship with God the Father to my earthly dad. We even compare other relationships to the one with God and I believe that is the reason people struggle with getting to know God on a personal level. I didn't know how to come to God full-heartedly because I was terrified of my earthy father. I was a good kid, so I was always afraid of getting in trouble. I didn't know how to come to God because I felt unworthy. I urge you to express  love and also compliment one another. You never know, you might be the first person who has expressed love to that someone. 

marriage

I got married at age 18 because I was looking for LOVE so desperately. Only to find out that my husband could not give me that LOVE either. During my marriage, I cryed out to God and questioned God's will in all of my sufferings. I didn't understand why I felt so broken.

But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

As I am writing this, and weeping, I again feel Gods abounding GRACE and LOVE on me. I’m realizing that God “protected me” and was with me throughout my time of hurting. He allowed me to go through some things in life to produce in me perseverance, character; and hope. All that so I can understand what it means to be drenched in God's LOVE. I experienced and experience God’s ACTUAL love that has been poured out into my heart through the Holy Spirit. 

I thank God that I didn’t turn into a statistic of broken people who end up on the streets or dead. God protected me by sending a young man who is now my husband when I was only 14. We were really good friends and nothing really more but Sergey proclaimed that I would be his wife. We had a strange relationship. I told him that I could not promise a future with him  since I was so young and didn’t have those kinds of feelings for him (even though I was very mature for my age).  He told me that he was okay waiting. I know God had sent him to protect me for the next 3 years from guys who could have taken advantage of a young broken girl. My husband represents the image of Christ and the Church. He was waiting for me even when I didn’t give him much hope. Jesus waits for us even when we give Him no hope. He longs for us to surrender and come to Him. At age 17, supernaturally, God gave me the love for Sergey and I agreed to get married. 7 years into our marriage, I wanted out. I was so unhappy that I even had suicidal thoughts. I expressed my pain and hurt. Basically resented my husband, who had only loved me and prayed consistently for me all along. Although I didn’t realize it at the time because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.  It was not fair for me to dump all of my problems on my husband and expect him to fix everything that was wrong with me. God gave me a husband who always told me and still tells me that I’m beautiful and that he loves me. He encourages me to keep going and blesses me everyday in everything that I do. God has been working on healing my heart from the time when I meet my husband until now. It’s layer by layer of pain that is being stripped off of me, healed and restored. Glory to God!!!

 Only by Gods grace and LOVE, Sergey and I are celebrating 17 years of marriage!

Only by Gods grace and LOVE, Sergey and I are celebrating 17 years of marriage!

Approved by God

We Don’t need to seek reaffirmation or acceptance from a person. But when God, who set me apart from my mother's womb and called me by his grace, was pleased. Galatians 1:15. I was searching for LOVE in the wrong places. My dad could not give me that kind of LOVE, neither could my husband or anyone nor “anything else” (see full story). It was during a small ladies camp. God drenched me with His LOVE while I was singing the old hymn: “How great thou art” in my heart. This is so funny but maybe it's not. I had lost my voice so I could not make any sound come out of my mouth but I was determined. I said to God that I would still sing in my mind/spirit and I did. It was a battle between my flesh and my spirit, as I got really sick with a cold. The enemy didn’t want me to go to that camp in the first place, but I still decided to go. I was desperate and hungry for a change in my life and I wasn’t going to let anything stop me. When we decide to push through the obstacles and circumstances in our lives, God always holds up His end of the promise, and draws us to Himself.  He assures us that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Deuteronomy 31:6

For the first time in my life, I was able to forgive and love my earthly father because of the LOVE I received from Jesus. It was through the song “good good father” Because I truly knew God the Father, I am able to LOVE with Gods LOVE that doesn’t keep record of wrong (1 Corinthians 13:5). Today, I don’t blame my earthly father because he only did the best he knew how. My dad also had a strict dad and a hard childhood. During those prosecution times, my grandfather was in prison for 5 years only because he was a Christian. I know that it impacted my dad because he had to raise his younger siblings and be a stand-in father figure from an early age. Through everything that God has done in my life, I see how even my dad is changing. For the first time in my life, my dad told me that he loved me. I know it was awkward for him to say that but God is amazing!!!

 me, mom, dad

me, mom, dad

Jesus died for us while we were still sinners: filled with guilt, shame, and unforgiveness. God has already forgiven you, now all you need to do is accept God's forgiveness, and forgive yourself. Jesus has already paid the FULL price so that we could be set free. When we accept the fact that there is no greater LOVE than the LOVE of Jesus, we are set free from expectations and we set others free from the burden of LOVING us in the way only God can LOVE us.  We are made complete in Jesus Christ by the Holy Spirit that is in us. Only through the Holy Spirit we are able to LOVE unconditionally, even when we think that those people don’t deserve it.

 

 Only through the Holy Spirit we are able to LOVE unconditionally, even when we think that those people don’t deserve it.

 

In my next blog post I will be talking about how we can obtain and accept the LOVE and go into a relationship with Jesus.

 If you ever have any questions, comments, or simply need prayer: It would be my honor to serve you. You can contact me here. 

- Natasha