It’s been a while since I communicated with you all. I have been doing good over all but as far as my intentional and intimate time with God, I am not proud. This is part of the reason why I have not been blogging. I know that in order to give, I MUST have something to give. I have been in a season in which I am still uncertain. Everything seems to be going good in my life but to be honest, I have not been as on fire for God this past 4 months as I had been for the past 7 years.
The irony of it all is that I am now living in a place where I could have only dreamed. I have everything that I ever want or need. Everyone is good and healthy but I feel guilty all the time about not being as on fire for God. I feel like I have lost my first love with God. I have been praying and asking God about this state. There are a few things that I discovered and want to take you along on my journey.
So what is going on? Why do I feel this way?
The first answer that I got was because I am at a cap in my life and ministry. I am not trying to be boastful but rather honest so that it will help someone. My desire to be debt-free has come to fruition and I am grateful to God for this. We were able to pay everything off when we sold our home. Long before the Lord brought us to our current church, there were things that I wished to be a part of. I know that those desires were planted in me by God because they were all for His glory.
Nothing fails like success - Alan Watts
I came to a place in my season where everything I worked so hard towards I succeed. This should have been the happiest time of my life but instead it became dry and stale. I became dry and stale. This situation leads me to reflect on celebrities who had “it all” and ended their lives…why? What makes a person who has worked so hard to get to the place of success only to abandon it?
I think it is because there is no longer that rush…no more deadlines…nothing exciting or challenging to look forward to.
Being in the Promised Land
What happens when you reach your promised land?
Are you going to stop battling? No because their will still be giants in the land…We must be on our guards no matter where we are at in our lives…even in our promised land.
Why do we go through these seasons?
Will we stop receiving the manna and start to enjoy the fruit of the land in this new season? Yes, maybe. Ha!…could be either…One thing that we must understand is that God is God and He is not predictable. Just because God provided for you in one way like He did with the manna in the wilderness, He is not going to provide for you the same way once you get to your promised place or your new season. Although good at one point, the manna got pretty old and familiar after a while. No one wanted it anymore. Once the Israelites got to the Promised Land, they were to eat from the crops of the land. The manna was gone. I believe that we go through this season because God wants to promote us from one kind of blessing (manna) to MANY different blessings (crops in the land).
It’s a different kind of presence and provision
Just as with infants, they can only process formula or mama's milk, but when they become toddlers and older, kids can eat everything. So the choice is ours. Will we keep waiting for the manna that we received in the wilderness or will we go out and find and enjoy the best pizza in the world? Yes it’s new and yes it’s different but God wants us to experience so much more than manna. It would be supper weird for a 21 year old guy to drink baby formula. There are so many different crops in the Promised Land that our minds cannot even process. Let’s not look back at what God did but look at what we have yet to discover. No more manna! No more manna! No more manna!
Maybe I have been experiencing God in other ways and simply didn’t recognize Him because it’s not the way I am used to. I do believe that even when I desperately sought out the Lord, He was with me even when I didn’t feel Him since faith is based on belief not a feeling.
Praying that God speaks to each of you as He did to me in this passage. That in this season you would look at the blessings that are yet to come. Blessings that are in many different ways in which you would not even expect or even perceived...I pray that you would recognize your blessings in this season and give God the honor. He is so good, He wants what is only the best for you!!!
You have all been on my mind, love you guys so much!!!